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May 14th, 2012


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02:32 pm - It was always you
Title: It was always you
Author: Tuesdae/morrisseyislove
Fandom: Thor & The Avengers movie-verse
Pairing: Thor/Loki
Rating: PG for mentions of adult situations
Warnings: Psuedo-incest, slight spoilers for Thor and The Avengers
Word Count: 1353
Summary: prompt from norsekink In Asgard, every child possess magic, but they lose it with their first true love. That's why magic users are so ill-regarded: they are considered unloving, selfish people, to put their own power above things like friendship or love. Jotunn magic doesn't work in the same way. Thor lost his magic early on because he has loved Loki for many years, but Loki, even as he professes to loving him right back, can still use his magic. Cue broken heart(s), anger, mistrust and much self-doubt on Loki's part.
Author's Note: I haven't written in forever AND this wasn't beta'd, so any feedback would be fabulous. Title is from Always by Panic! At The Disco. I hope this fulfills your wish, OP!



With every child comes magic. There's a beauty and wonder in the world that a child makes, which obviously doesn't go away with adulthood, but changes. When adult, romantic love first blooms, you know you have finally ceased to be a child. This love and obviously the children are different in every realm, but in Asgard, children are literally magical.

Thor thinks back on his childhood now, how he could create butterflies or illusions of foes from no where. He remembers how Loki would sneak into his bed at night, and they would cup their hands together, and it would glow a most brilliant blue. He remembers the last time he was able to perform this childish magic. He and Loki were playing in the cloud gardens, and they were using their magic to sprout wings so they could fly. He watched as Loki soared high above him, beautiful and majestic. His chest felt tight, his stomach felt like it was flying, and his face felt hot as Loki looked down, beaming at him. Suddenly, his wings were gone, and he was falling. Thankfully Loki was there and he caught him, but his magic was gone and he was finally a man. When Thor told his parents later, Frigga and Odin looked to each other, brows furrowed.

"Your... brother made you feel this way?" his mother asked slowly, watching him carefully. Her stare made his cheeks flush hot, and he looked down toward his hands as he nodded.

After that, Frigga and Odin did their best to keep Loki and Thor separate. Frigga, knowing his love for knowledge, ordered Loki more tutoring sessions and Odin requested that, now that Thor was a man to be king, he spend more time in the training yard with the Warriors Three and Sif. Thor and Loki always found ways to see each other around the new responsibilities their parents put upon them. Loki still snuck into Thor's bed, but now only he was able to make his hands glow their favorite colors.

One night, not long after Thor lost his childhood, while Loki was making harmless rainbow sparks lite up from his fingertips, Thor took his hands. He could still feel the same tightness in his chest and soaring in his belly when he looked at his brother as the day he lost his magic. He pulled Loki closer, to that the knees of their crossed legs were touching. He leaned his face to his brother's and pressed their lips together. Loki didn't move at first, but soon began reacting to the tender touches of Thor. The more they kissed, the hotter Thor's loins became, and he wondered if Loki also felt this foreign heat. When the finally pulled away from each other, they say how Loki had unconsciously created a field of bright blue light around them, and they both blushed at how they thought the other might think of how they looked. Thor peered down towards his loins and saw how it had tented, and that Loki's was the same. Loki's face turned an even brighter red, and he quickly extinguished the light, then hesitantly gave Thor a kiss goodnight and made his leave.

Though Thor's magic had left him with his childhood, Loki just became more and more powerful. At nights, they continued to kiss and touch one another as they knew brothers shouldn't, and Thor couldn't help but wonder how Loki's childish magic stayed with him. He felt as though Loki loved him in return, but on the one very rare occasion he took to reading, he read that an Asgardian child's magic transforms when they fall in love: it goes from being tangible to emotional. He couldn't help but wonder as he laid with his brother at night after they had reached release if Loki truly loved him.

"I love you, brother," Thor said after reaching completion by Loki's hand.

"I love you as well," Loki said as he nestled into the side of Thor's neck and began to doze off.

It soothed his mind for a short time, but as the nights wore on and he could feel himself falling deeper in love, his suspicions grew restless.

"Father," Thor began, trying to think of a way to word his question as delicately as Loki might.

"Odinson," Odin addressed him.

Thor tried to ask as casually as possible, "What do you know of Asgardian children's magic?"

He could tell his father already knew why he was asking, but only said, "I know that every child of Asgard is born with it and that it falls away with first love."

"What if someone goes well into adulthood and still has this magic?" Thor asked.

"Then perhaps this Asgardian is guarding their heart to preserve this magic. Or they simply haven't found the right person yet. Or perhaps even, they love someone as... family, and not as a lover would," Odin answered, confirming in Thor's mind all of his fears.

That night, Thor put an end to his and Loki's nightly escapades.

"We are brothers... it is wrong for us to also be lovers," Thor said, avoiding looking at his dear brother's face.

"I... I suppose I knew you would end it eventually."

Time passed. The longing in Thor's heart never ceased, even with the maidens he took to his bed. His heart grew fonder for Loki with every time he saw him and with every accidental touch and with every word Loki spoke. Loki's magic only grew stronger, which assured Thor that it was only he who held an incestuous love.

The day he would be crowned king came and shortly after came banishment. With the beautiful Jane Foster, perhaps his love for Loki would finally wane. Maybe he could force himself to love this wonderful Midgardian woman. Perhaps it just took someone who wasn't born of Asgard to make him love another.

His brother's betrayal of Asgard, seeing him kill and lie... it did not lessen his love and it could not anger him more. Fighting with him, finding out he was never truly his brother, and watching him fall... it broke his heart and made him wish by all the stars that he hadn't broken their nightly engagements.

When Asgardians fall in love, it takes away their magic, but when Jotun fall in love, it only makes their magic stronger.

And when he found him, alive albeit mad, he could not have loved him more or have been more furious with him. Taking him home at last, knowing the evils he'd done and knowing that Loki did not hate him as he once thought made him feel heavy. The words Loki had spoken to him the day that was supposed to be his coronation had weighed so heavy on his mind:

"Never doubt that I love you."

As they locked him and Loki into his old rooms in Asgard, mouth and hands still bound, Thor watched him as Loki waited for him to unlock him.

"You did love me, didn't you?" Thor asked, obviously not looking for an answer. "I did doubt you, brother. I did not think you loved me as I loved you, but looking at the past now with new eyes and knowing the truth... I can see that my love and affection for you was not one-sided as I thought it was."

He looked upon Loki's unreadable eyes. He finally couldn't stand not hearing what Loki had to say, and he stepped toward him and unlocked his gag.

"You doubt now that I love you."

Thor stared at him, before his face finally cracked into a smile. He wrapped his arms around his brother's shoulders and embraced him as tightly as he could, as if Loki would disappear if he were to let go.

"I am still cross at you for trying to destroy Midgard."

"And I you for shunning me from embraces such as these. And my cuffs."

Thor's eyes darkened and his mouth twisted into a sly smirk.

"Perhaps I shall leave them on you during..."

Loki smiled and wettened his upper lip.

"Perhaps."

/end

(18 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:daffenger
Date:May 15th, 2012 07:16 pm (UTC)

BIG, pedantic comment of doom.

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So: first of all, thanks for filling my prompt ^^

Then on to the true comment. I loved the way you described the children's magic : the butterflies and intangible foes show so well how Thor is still innocent, but already inclined toward a warrior's path.
And the moment when he falls in love is very well put: the falling is both metaphorical and concrete indeed. Also, it evokes somehow the fall of Icarus ? With Loki as Thor's sun ? This might be a *little* far-fetched. As to Loki's magic, it is very interesting that he made only harmless magic: light, rainbows...

You made the years pass very smoothly, and I admire that : the problem with such prompts is that, as they span the *centuries* from childhood to that decisive moment treated in the movie(s, now !), they can be a bore to write. Not in this case !

Remarkable sentences number 1: "it did not lessen his love and it could not anger him more." and later "And when he found him, alive albeit mad, he could not have loved him more or have been more furious with him". Very nice symetry !
Remarkable sentences number 2: "Loki smiled and wettened his upper lip.". I deeply appreciate the "wettened" instead of "licked" and "upper lip" instead of "lips". The seduction is all in the details...

And the ending... was delightful.

Finally, you said the work was unbetaed, so maybe Thor's sentence: "Perhaps I shall leave them on you during." was supposed to end differently ?

Edited at 2012-05-15 07:17 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 17th, 2012 01:27 am (UTC)

Re: BIG, pedantic comment of doom.

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Oh my goodness, oh my gracious me, thank you. I tried to stay true to the rich characters given to us in the films and you're giving me the impression I did well, which fills me with glee. I'm glad that the passage of time wasn't too harsh; I've read some particularly rough ones myself.

As for "Perhaps I shall leave them on you during", that was meant to allude to a sexy time dance wherein Loki is handcuffed (the "them" referenced being the cuffs Loki had just complained of). Does that make more sense?
[User Picture]
From:daffenger
Date:May 17th, 2012 02:39 pm (UTC)

Re: BIG, pedantic comment of doom.

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Oh, okay, I thought it may have been a typo ^^ Well, then maybe the punctuation should mark the fact that Thor is, voluntarily, not saying something. Like "Perhaps I shall leave them on you, during..." to imitate the rhythm of his speech (if he was interrupted, the punctuation would be "Perhaps I shall leave them on you during-")

And another thing (and then promise I'll stop talking), you said and I quote "I haven't written in forever", so probably this is your first prompt in this kinkmeme, so did you remember to advertise your fill in the fill list ? (top of the page, there is a series of links to "round one", "round two", etc., and the first one on the left is to the "fill list", where you post a comment with link to the prompt and the fill you wrote). That's where most people check for new fills, so I think you would get more feedback, and readers, this way.
(yes, there was a lot of fills in this paragraph)

Also, lol to the sexy time dance thing.
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 17th, 2012 06:51 pm (UTC)

Re: BIG, pedantic comment of doom.

(Link)
Okay, good idea. I edited it and included the ellipses.

Yes, I registered this on the fill list. I'll try cross posting on Thor/The Avengers slash comms.
[User Picture]
From:pinkelephant42
Date:May 17th, 2012 07:49 pm (UTC)
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I love this. Your descriptions are so beautiful and the story is so heartfelt. <3
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 17th, 2012 08:33 pm (UTC)
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Thank you!
[User Picture]
From:nicevenn
Date:May 17th, 2012 11:39 pm (UTC)
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I absolutely adore this fic: I've recc'ed it here

Edited at 2012-05-17 11:39 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 18th, 2012 12:36 am (UTC)
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Oh my goodness, thank you! What does the black heart symbolize?
[User Picture]
From:nicevenn
Date:May 18th, 2012 12:46 am (UTC)
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Thank you for writing! The black heart is for angst. (There's a link to the key in the rec post).
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 18th, 2012 12:56 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]
From:nicevenn
Date:May 18th, 2012 01:02 am (UTC)
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Photobucket
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 18th, 2012 01:15 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]
From:nicevenn
Date:May 18th, 2012 01:41 am (UTC)
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LOL, okay you win. I'm gonna friend you, if you don't mind.
[User Picture]
From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 18th, 2012 01:56 am (UTC)
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I friended you back.
[User Picture]
From:lies_d
Date:May 18th, 2012 02:31 am (UTC)
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Aw, very sweet!
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From:morrisseyislove
Date:May 18th, 2012 02:55 am (UTC)
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Thank you!
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From:glayish
Date:May 18th, 2012 03:37 pm (UTC)
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That was... so .. PRECIOUS! I loved it from start to finish! Beautiful and sweet!
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From:angelshandprint
Date:May 22nd, 2012 12:33 am (UTC)
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This was beautiful. I love the things they created with their childish magic, and I love it that you call it that way as well - childish magic. Somehow I knew it was gonna end happy. There was like this very fairytale feel to it. And my favourite thing is how Loki was always the sun of Thor's sky when they were little. I love fics with that, because he's so beautiful as a child in my mind.

Edited at 2012-05-22 12:33 am (UTC)

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