July 19th, 2008
|04:46 pm - Oh, Smurf It All (stand alone)|
Title: Oh, Smurf It All (stand alone)
Summary: Jon talking to Brendon about sex.
Disclaimer: I don't own Panic At The Disco or anyone associated with Panic At The Disco and I don't own The Smurf, but I do own some merch.
Author's note: This is a sequal to a stand alone I made, I HAVE THE POWER!. I wasn't originally planning to make another one, but it's back by popular demand.
The morning after Ryan and Brendon's He-Man/Skeletor sexcapade, Jon was staring at Brendon making pop tarts, or really, toasting them in the toaster, since it would be way too complicated to actually make pop tarts.
“We heard you and Ryan last night,” Jon said.
Brendon glanced back at him, and then turned back to the toaster with a little smile and a blush.
“Sorry, we do get kind of loud, don’t we?”
“Why!” Jon half-yelled.
Brendon gave him a curious look.
“What do you mean, ‘why?’” he asked. “It feels good, that’s why we get loud.”
“No, why do you do all the kinky stuff? Don’t you realize that no one needs to know that you’re like two girls, one cup and stuff like that?”
Brendon made a face.
“I saw that,” he said with a shutter. “It was awful. I couldn’t shit for like a week.”
He took his pop tarts out of the toaster, hissing when they burned the tips of his fingers.
“Me and Ryan would never do two girls, one cup,” he said, then paused with another shutter. “Ugh. Poop.”
Jon rolled his eyes.
“But you still do all the weird roll playing and stuff. Why?”
“Well, with girls, they only want to do the weird stuff their into. With another guy, there’s no limit, so we’re just kind of going with the sexual freedom, you know?” he said, and then took a bite of his warm, frosted pastry treat. “Just like Margaret Cho said: ‘When you’re oppressed over who you like to fuck, when you get in there and actually do it, you’re going to have a really good time.’”
Jon gave him another look.
“Who’s Margaret Cho?”
Brendon rolled his eyes and said, “Never mind. Just, next time me and Ryan are doing it, just put in your iPod or something.”
“Oh well… can I have one of your pop tarts?”
Brendon nodded and handed him one, then Ryan entered the living area, finally haven woken up. Brendon smirked and walked over him, wrapping him into a close embrace and pressed his lips to Ryan’s.
“Mmm, you excited for tonight, Papa Smurf?”
Jon’s face split from a look of pop tarts induced joy to one of horror.
“Oh, you little mother smurfer, Brainy.”
Jon grabbed one of the cushions from the couch, went into fetal position, and cried.
Current Mood: smurfy!
Current Music: The Unicorns - Ready To Die